Sirs:
I have been “tagg’d” to participate in an Internet-meme about success. I my-self was un-sure of what this entail’d, so I ask’d some of my Acquaintances, & they inform’d me that is was no-thing to worry about, & that modern Medicine, what with all of its recent Advances, could cure me of this Meme-tag in a Trice.
With that Worry gone from my Head, Sirs, I feel safe to address you with a brief Exploration on the Virtue of Moderation, to which Virtue I attribute most of my Success.
It was through a Head-ache early this Morning that I first began to realize the Importance of Moderation in an enlighten’d young man’s Life. The pounding on my poor Brain, which caused me much DISTRESS AND MISERY, & caused me no end of Pain, never-the-less help’d to point me to a great Realization: That too many flagons of Flemish Ale, & glasses of Rum, & other such Libations, might leave an adventure-some young Man muddled.
There-fore, Moderation is needed. Sirs, after much Study, I have determined that a Drink or two is nothing of which to be ashamed or afear’d; rather, it can function as a SOCIAL LUBRICANT, making it easier & less burden-some to engage in Conversation with young Ladies. Tho’, now that I think about it, the sorts of young Ladies who spend their Leisure-time in Taverns may not be the right sorts with which to converse.
Any-way, Moderation is call’d for in ev’ry part of a young Man’s Business. It is not sufficient merely to limit one’s in-take of Spirits, but of Food as well. One does not want to risk Dulness. And while I thorough-ly enjoy perambulations in the out-of-doors, too much of that, say our most esteem’d Scientifickal Gentle-men, can be perilous.
In short, it is best to do what one enjoys most, but not to an Extreme. Small doses of Libation, of Food, of out-door Activity, of every-thing, save Humility, are the Key to a HAPPY LIFE.
